The Private Apparition of Our Lady Of Prince Edward Island (P.E.I.)

Friday, October 19, 2012

My Thirty-day Retreat – Part 10

Dear Friends,
Here is the tenth part of my thirty-day retreat in Jerusalem. It is rather long today as we are coming to the end. Our Lord especially spoke to me about the Contemplative Brothers and Sisters of Jesus. He gave me many special rules to follow. Please enjoy.
Father Melvin

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          15th May 1990 – During my first meditation, Jesus spoke to me about the importance of studying the culture of the people we live with. He said, “The members of the Society will be taught how to study the culture of the people with whom they live. They will begin with the more material side of life such as: how to build a traditional house, for example. They will have to learn how to do research. When a culture is studied, one will find some elements which are good and should be preserved, and there will be some elements which are not good, and these should be eliminated. What would be important is how the faith has changed traditional life and the mentality of the people. The study of poverty among the people would be important, in order to find out how they look at it, and how to work to overcome it. All aspects of life should be studied.”
In my second hour I took as text Acts 13, 44 – 14,7. In this passage we see that the Church is making great advancement. Many come to believe the Good News preached by Paul and Barnabas. Yet persecution begins. The people want to expel Paul and Barnabas in Pisidia and in Iconium after their great success. Some even want to stone them. This is the pattern for the Church and we see it all the time. We saw it in Africa, especially in Zaire in the 1960’s, in Uganda and Burundi. The war in Sudan is similar: the Moslem north wants to get rid of the Christian south. The same thing happened in East Europe during the last 40 years. Much of this has come to an end there, but it continues in China, Vietnam, North Korea, etc. If this is the pattern for the Church, it will be the same for the New Society. We can expect opposition from inside and outside, from leaders of the Church, even Bishops and priests. Calumny, lies, defamation of character, all this could possibly appear because the devil will do all he can to destroy the Society, but Jesus has assured me that the Society will not fail. So, when such things happen we must not be afraid, nor grow bitter, but we are to bless all those who harm us. Bless them, pray for them, and when they ask for an explanation we must be ready to give it. If we have the opportunity, we should invite those who oppose us to come and see, and judge for themselves. In all this we have to be joyful like the Apostles who were glad to have had the honour to suffer for Jesus.
In my third hour I read the account of the Council of Jerusalem in Acts 15,1 – 35. We are shown the very serious controversy between Paul and Barnabas on the one side, and some Apostles and Jewish converts on the other. The Jewish group want all the pagans to become Jews and follow the law of Moses before they become Christians. Paul said ‘no’ to this proposal. The pagans are not to be made Jews and forced to follow the law of Moses before they are baptized and become Christians. They can be saved without Judaism. This controversy could have split the Church in two bodies if it had not been solved right away. So, all the Apostles with Paul and Barnabas and the leading Christians, gathered in Jerusalem for a meeting and to give a solution. After a long discussion it was Peter who gave the essential solution. He said, “God made no distinction between them (the pagans) and us (the Jews), since He purified their hearts by faith.” Just before, he had said, “In fact God … showed His approval of them (pagans) by giving the Holy Spirit to them just as He had to us.” The problem was solved, and Paul was confirmed in what he had been doing. Paul had indeed been working under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. What a relief this must have been for him.
What courage he must have received by this clear decision. What a burden gone from his shoulders after having been accused of not following the right way. I too ask the Lord to confirm in a clear manner that He wants me to found the Brothers and Sisters of Jesus. Although I know in my heart that the inspiration came from Him, yet the confirmation from the Lord would be so assuring. Such a confirmation would be a source of great strength and courage to work for the establishment of the Society. Nevertheless, I want Jesus to be completely free. I don’t want to appear as if I am forcing in any way. I simply ask in all humility, knowing how poor and weak I am, and how unworthy I am to ask anything from Him to whom I owe everything.
In my last period of prayer I took St. Paul’s speech to the learned men of Athens: Acts 17, 22 – 34. This text brought me back to the Society, and I drew these lessons. Paul knew how to adapt His speech to the ways of the Athenians. He started from what they knew, and proceeded to teach them something new. The members of the Society will have to know how to adapt themselves to their audience. They will know their people, the language, their stories, their sayings and their background so as to speak on their level. This means they will have to be good students who can learn new languages and adapt to new ways. They will also scout around for material which has been tried and found good.

16th May 1990 – In the morning I meditated on Romans 8. It is a fundamental text for us for we are to be filled with the Spirit of Jesus. To be a Brother or a Sister of Jesus, then we can say these words, “The Spirit of God has made His home in you.” We are to be concerned with the things of God, with living with Him, with imitating Jesus by loving one another and avoiding all sin. We are not to be slaves, living out of fear but sons and daughters of God and living out of love. As sons and daughters of God, we are then the brothers and sisters of Jesus, beloved of the Father. Paul says, “the whole creation is eagerly waiting for God to reveal His sons and daughters.” Indeed, we too must be eager to be sons and daughters of God, and our great desire must be to make all peoples brothers and sisters of Jesus, and therefore children of God. St. Paul adds a little further saying, “They are the ones He chose especially long ago and intended to become true images of His Son, so that His Son might be the eldest of many brothers and sisters.” Yes Lord you have chosen us to mirror Your Son Jesus in this world. Jesus is our elder brother. I pray that many will come to join us to bear the name of Brother or Sister of Jesus, and live lives modeled on that of Jesus, in forgetting self and spending themselves in love for all peoples without counting the cost. All will have a familiar and intimate friendship with Jesus, our Brother, whom we will recognize as our Saviour and Lord. Daily we will offer ourselves in total oblation to Jesus to do only His will as it will come to us through the legitimate superiors He gives us. Another inspiration came to me to have at the heart of the Society a contemplative branch who will be in constant prayer for the advancement of the work of the Society. They will live with the others in their monasteries.
At 10:45 I went to see my Spiritual Director, Fr. Luc Lefief, and besides other things, he said this: “Your long participation in the Passion of Jesus was a giving birth to the New Society which wants to be born.” This idea remained with me and was very strong. At prayer in the afternoon, Jesus spoke to me distinctly saying: “Melvin, I love you, I embrace you, you are my dearest brother. You have grasped well the meaning of the long time spent on the Passion and the mourning up to the Resurrection. This in fact was the

spiritual birth of the Society. With this, you should begin to plan for the Society. When you go to Rome you will speak to the Superior General of the Missionaries of Africa about the Society. At home in Canada, you will visit all your brothers and sisters, and you will lay hands on them to heal them, and to impart to them the Holy Spirit, that they may be renewed. You will do the same to your parents and other relatives. I have given you the gift of healing. Do you believe this?” I say, “yes I believe.”
In the next period of prayer, I was all the time with Jesus and Our Lady. I asked Jesus if we could go to Our Blessed Mother and we went to visit Her. How happy She was to receive us. She said, “Jesus, my Son, how happy I am to see you. How I love you. And you Melvin, my priest-son, how happy I am to embrace you, for I love you very much. I am your Patroness and I will have a motherly care for all the Brothers and Sisters. This Society is of great importance to Jesus, and will play an important role in the conversion of the world. You have received great gifts to enable you to begin. I too wish to give you a special gift – the gift of Apostle – as a witness of Jesus’ suffering, Death and Resurrection, as you have a deep experience of this Paschal Mystery of my Son. With the gift of Apostle you will give the Holy Spirit to the people by imposition of hands. Those you will pray with will have a deep experience of the Holy Spirit in their souls. The Holy Spirit will come to witness to them about Jesus. Today it is important for all to have spiritual experiences, so that these experiences of the Holy Spirit are very important for the transformation of the world. You will impart to each member of the Society the Holy Spirit, so that he or she experiences in his/her soul this action of the Spirit. All those who will come to join the Youth for Jesus will go through this intensive period during which you will pray over them to receive the Holy Spirit. You will give the members the same power to give the Spirit to the people. In this way the transformation of the world will come.” I thanked Jesus and Our Lady for their great love and for their gifts.

17th May 1990 – During the first hour this morning I took as text 1 Peter 3, 8 – 12: the advice to the Society. Peter teaches us that there should be unity among those who believe, and we know that unity is a sign of the Spirit. Where there is division, anger, hatred, God cannot live there. Peter has much to say about our tongue – our language. So all malice, all deceitful conversation should be banished from us. We are not to pay back one wrong with another, but instead we are to pay back with a blessing. So, we will get a blessing in return. We must practice the good, seek peace, and the eyes of the Lord will be turned towards us. This text is of paramount importance for the Society. The members will put into practice the spirit shown there. By their following this advice, people will recognise them as true brothers and sisters of Jesus. At the end Jesus spoke to me saying, “I love you, I embrace you, what joy should fill your heart as the time for the transformation of the world is approaching.

A great work will be carried out by the Contemplative wing of the Society. You will establish these twin monasteries where those called to the hidden life will live close to me in my hidden life. These contemplatives will be at the HEART of the Society, and will intercede day and night before God for the peoples of the world, and for the more active group of Brothers and Sisters. Their prayers will be the cause of the penetration of the Good News into the hearts and minds of a vast number of people. Their prayers will also attract the youth to me. You will organize the Brothers and Sisters in large monasteries and try to have at least one twin monastery in each diocese. Each Brother or Sister will have his or her group of people for whom he or she will pray all his/her life, taking three of them in turn every day. The member will write regularly to these people, elevating their minds and hearts to me and the things of Heaven. These monasteries will be oases of holiness and goodness in the world. They will practice mortification, abnegation and forgetfulness of self at all times. They will spend long hours in prayer every day besides the work they will do such as farming, gardening and raising livestock, etc. The monasteries should be established in the countryside, at least most of them. Older men and women could be accepted if they show signs of a call from me.”
During the second period, I took the famous “Contemplation for achieving love” by St. Ignatius. I became aware that I was standing in the presence of God with all the angels and saints present and praying for me. Then I asked the Lord: through the fulness of gratitude, I may be completely devoted to God in true love. I recalled everything God had done for me and given me. I saw how after receiving so much, I too, should offer something to God in return. I can only give Him what belongs to me and all that I am. So, I prayed “Take Lord and receive…” I took the other Headings:
God living in His creatures: so He lives in me, I who am made to His image and likeness and I prayed: “Take Lord and receive…”
(2) I saw the providence of God who keeps me in being every moment of my life, what love. Again I prayed: “Take Lord and receive…”
(3) Then I saw that all my strength and abilities come from God and all goodness in me is but a spark from Him. So I prayed and thanked Him for His great love.
After all that, Jesus spoke to me saying, “Love is the supreme good surpassing everything else. My life on earth was one great act of love—love for My Father which I showed in every action and in total obedience to His will. Also love for the people by redeeming them through my suffering and Death on the Cross. You have shared my Passion, you have experienced the depth of this love I have for all my brothers and sisters. Now I want a renewal of love in the hearts of all – a real world transformation. The young will bring this about by experiencing this great love I have for them. The members of the Society will undergo this transformation, and through them the renewal of love will begin. This movement will be like a fire spreading over the whole world. Now I wish to lay my hands on your head and to confirm all the gifts you have received in order to equip you for the task you have been given by me. Indeed you are to be the Founder of the Brothers and Sisters of Jesus, a very important work, but don’t be afraid: we will do it together in the same way that we went through the Passion together. Rely on me, be close to me, refer everything to me. I have accepted the complete gift of yourself. So, you will be my instrument to reach and speak to the people, to impart to them the Holy Spirit, to heal them, to care for them, to teach them and to show them my love.”
In the afternoon I spent one hour in prayer, and I started by reading 1 John 1, 1 – 10. John, who is an Apostle, a witness of Jesus public life, of His suffering and Death and Resurrection. John speaks about Jesus, Son of the Father. He says that God is light, and therefore, beauty, goodness, truth and joy are all His attributes. There is no darkness whatever in God. Yet we can be living in darkness, in sin, and opposed to the light, to God. If we are in the light, then we are with Jesus, and united with everybody. We are purified from sin by the Blood of Jesus poured out for us on the Cross. Indeed we are all sinners. If we ask pardon, God will forgive us. We have to stop sinning, break from this slavery of sin, and live in the Risen Lord. This is the first condition to become members of the Brothers and Sisters of Jesus. We have to break from sin, to turn our life around, to be transformed. Yet how difficult this is to do for so many of us. This is why Jesus wants the Society, as He says, “Today people need to experience my presence, My closeness, my love before they can commit themselves to me. Without this experience it is very difficult for them to break with sin, with selfishness, with greed for material things. So, this is why “the experience of Jesus” will be one of the most important works the members will do. They will start by giving it to the youth, the Youth for Jesus. “The experience” will be an intensive spiritual renewal, which will last at least 3 days. It will be planned out by 3 to 5 people, at least one of them a member of the Society who has been initiated into the experience. The three days will be planned as follows:
1st day: Introduction:
The story of light and darkness
The Passion and Death of Jesus
Sin and sorrow
2nd day: The Resurrection:
Holy Eucharist: the disciples of Emmaeus
Jesus’ sayings after the Resurrection
The call to renewal- new man
My promise – the Holy Spirit
The laying of hands by Brother or Sister with the team.
3rd day: Group singing and prayers
Holy Eucharist – what is a Youth for Jesus
Group prayer – witnessing
Final recommendation by the Brother or Sister
Love like Jesus.
In my last prayer period, I read 1 John 2, 3 – 17. The second condition to be a Brother or Sister of Jesus is to keep the Commandments of God, especially the commandment left us by Jesus Himself: “Love one another as I have loved you.” So, if anyone loves his brother or sister, then he is living in the light. I have resolved, during this retreat, to amend my ways and to follow the Commandments. I know that I am sinful, so I beg Jesus to give me the grace to be faithful. I will check my appetite by not eating Friday evenings, and never to take alcoholic drink. The third condition to follow Jesus according to St. John is detachment from the world, from the sensual body and from pride of possessions. I want only to be attached to Jesus. I will be faithful to my Breviary every day, and to half hour meditation daily. I will celebrate the Eucharist every day with devotion, remembering that I am at the foot of the Cross where Jesus is suffering and dying for me and the whole world. I will pray daily for the New Society that it may soon begin. At the end Jesus said, “it is necessary for the members of the Society to have a spirit of abnegation – they will practise silence at certain times, abstinence especially on Friday and some other days, fasting especially in Advent and Lent. They will do all this in order to bring the flesh under control. They must not be lured by material things, but be wholly attached to me. Their hearts must be free from all that can take them away from me and their duty.”

Thursday, October 18, 2012

My Thirty-day Retreat – Part 9

Dear Friends,
I will soon come to the end of the 30-day retreat. The last days were spent celebrating Holy Mass at the Most Holy Places which are at the crucifixion of Jesus and at the place of His burial and resurrection. Indeed these have been great events which I will never forget. In reading these passages, unite with me in these experiences.
Father Melvin

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          12th May 1990 – At 6:30 a.m. we made our way to Calvary for the celebration of the Eucharist at 7:00 a.m. The whole group was there as Fr. Luc began the celebration at the Catholic altar next to where Christ hung on the Cross. Fr. Luc invited us to contemplate Jesus on the Cross and to remember that the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. John were there too. What a privilege for us, priests, to concelebrate with Luc on the spot where Jesus wrought our Redemption – where the Sacrifice we were offering to the Father happened at this very spot. I prayed for the salvation of the whole world, especially Africa. I offered myself to Jesus again that He may do with me as He wishes. After about an hour we returned home. At the prayer from 8:45 – 9:45 I reflected on the stoning and martyrdom of St. Stephen. At this point Jesus spoke to me, “Melvin, don’t be astonished if some members of the Society are persecuted; it will be a sign for you that the Society is genuine. Indeed, the evil one will do all he can to destroy this creation of mine. Don’t worry, he will not succeed. If anyone hates you, or tells all sorts of lies against you, or chases you away, do not revile him, do not hate him in return, do not be bitter against him, but instead bless him, ask me to bless him and all his loved ones. If such things happen, joy should fill your heart like the Apostles and Saints who found it an honour to suffer for my name.”
In the afternoon for a few hours I had a splitting headache. It must be something I ate which did not agree with me. But at 4:00 p.m. I had my regular hour of prayer. During this hour Jesus spoke to me again saying: “This afternoon I would like to talk about the manner of life of the members of the Society. As I said previously, they will work with the poor and the neglected areas. They are not to go among the poor with such things as big TVs, big cars, hi-fi’s, etc. They are to practice poverty. They are to wear their religious habit in the house, in church and in their ministry. They will eat what the people eat, to identify with them. They should have what is necessary for their work. They are to be close to the people and easy of approach. The Brothers and Sisters will not smoke, and they will avoid alcoholic drink. They should join the Pioneers of Total Abstinence, and what example they would be to the Christians. This movement will be explained in the Novitiate, and the novices will be invited to join. There will be a group at the monastery made up of members and the public. The members of this movement will meet every first Thursday of the month, and they will hold a Holy Hour in church on that date. They will celebrate the first Friday of the month in a solemn way. You will especially meditate on my Agony, Passion and Death on the Cross. One who wishes to follow me must be ready to deny himself, and not be afraid to suffer for me and for his fellow men. Remember my words: no greater love does a man have than to lay down his life for his friends. Love is tested by suffering.” My director, Fr. Luc, would like me to rewrite my election by stating the spiritual motives why I have written what I wrote.
So now I rewrite my election with this in view: During this retreat Jesus has called me in a special way to share His Agony and holy Passion. He made me undergo in a very real way the suffering, the pain, the fatigue, the feeling of abandonment, the great distress and sorrow which He felt during those hours from Thursday evening to Friday afternoon, until He died on the cross. I relived this time of our redemption over a period of 12 days, in a very close union with Jesus. I wish to thank Jesus for this great privilege which I did not deserve, for I am a sinner. Taking into consideration the words of Jesus “Not my will but thine be done” and “into your hands I commit my spirit” and to those who killed Him “Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing”, I wish to offer myself together with Jesus to the Father in complete oblation that He may do with me as He wishes. I take up my cross and desire to follow only Jesus. I wish to do only God’s will and I ask only for the grace to accomplish it. I believe it is God’s will that I return to Zambia to work for the Church there. I wish to work in obedience to the Bishop in whose Diocese I will work. I will dialogue with my superiors concerning the inspiration of founding the Society, and to let them know the lights I receive in this 30-day retreat. I believe the Lord is calling the Church in Zambia during the time of its centenary to deepen the faith She has received, to follow Christ more closely and to produce new fruit that will ripen for the glory of God through a new evangelization of the people. During the hour of prayer from 5:45 to 6:45 as I meditated on the conversion of St. Paul in Acts 9, 1-19, Jesus spoke to me again saying: “It is about time for the establishment of the Society. You will have to be ready to explain the Society to everybody that comes to you. You will explain in detail the inspiration of 1977 and the further inspiration you received in this retreat and the confirmation I will give you in the future. I ask you to write all this so that you will be ready to explain it without difficulty. You should be ready to explain it to Bishops, priests, religious and any man or woman in order that this idea spreads throughout the country.”

13th May 1990: Day of repose – Today is our third break in the retreat and the last one. So, at 8:00 a.m. we boarded our bus from NET and left for ABUGHOSH on the way to Tel-Aviv. This place is only 12 km. from Jerusalem. We had passed by on our way to the Kibbutz, and on our way back from there we had stopped at the Church of Our Lady of the Ark, which is on the hill overlooking Abughosh. Today we went to the beautiful church of the Benedictines. It was built by the Crusaders in the 12th century, and its walls are about four to five feet thick. We first went to the basement to see the spring. Water is a great commodity here, and often scarce. They have plenty, and so close. We then proceeded to the main church, and we were surprised to see that it was so similar to St. Anne’s where we lived. St. Anne’s, though, is larger and has a dome. Ten Benedictine monks live here – 7 from Bec in Normandy, France, and 3 from Zaire. Just like St. Anne’s, the whole property here belongs to the French Government. After saying some private prayers, we went to their store where they sell their pottery – they make all sorts of things in ceramics. From Abughosh we went to a ruin of a Christian church called Emmaus, and there we celebrated the Eucharist, and we used as Gospel the Emmaus story. We took pictures of our little group in a corner of the ruins. Before returning to Jerusalem, we went to the beautiful Trappist monastery of Latrun where they are celebrating 100 years of their foundation. Fifteen monks live in this place. Near Jerusalem we stopped at Mont Joli to see the tomb of the prophet Samuel – many say however that he is not buried here. By 12:15 we were back at St. Anne’s.

14th May 1990 – This morning the whole group on retreat went to the Holy Sepulchre for the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. Fr. Richard Dandenault was the main celebrant, and we all concelebrated with him. The consecration took place on the stone where Jesus’ body rested from Good Friday until Easter morning, and the co-celebrants were in the adjoining room. This was a great honour for all of us. In my second period of prayer 9:15 – 10:15, Jesus took me to the Father and offered His sacrifice together with my oblation for the conversion of the Jews and the Moslems. He asked the Father that these come to know, love and serve Him, for He loves them very much. In reply, the Father graciously accepted the sacrifice of Jesus, and my oblation, and sent the Holy Spirit upon all the Jews and Moslems, that their heart may be opened, and that they eventually come to believe in their Saviour. He said the Moslems are in bondage and only the Holy Spirit can free them, and the Jews are in darkness till the time that He will lift this darkness. The Father then turned to me and said, “Melvin, you are to play an important part in the conversion of both the Jews and the Moslems, especially through the Society. They will be instrumental in bringing these people to believe in Jesus. Your role will be explained at a later date.”
During the afternoon hour of prayer, I took the text: Acts 11,19 – 30: the Church spreads from Jerusalem to Antioch. During this hour I was given a great grace of intense joy and fervour which kept me focussed on the subject the whole time. Jesus spoke very clearly saying, “This is an important message for the Society. The Society must become international as soon as possible. You will, as soon as possible, establish a monastery in Rome and in all the other continents. The members of the Society will know more than one language, and will do further studies. You will also start the Sisters of Jesus, a religious society for women, that is the complement of the Brothers of Jesus. They will follow the same Rule as the Brothers. You will attract the youth by getting them to join the association: Youth for Jesus. Through this movement many youth will join the Brothers and Sisters. You will as soon as possible establish a house in Israel and in the Arab countries, and get the youth to turn to me.
In my last period of prayer Jesus spoke to me about the youth. He said, “The new Society has to be concerned with the youth and animate them. You will begin the ‘Youth for Jesus’, a movement for boys and girls. The organization will revolve around the following points:
(1) The youth group – about 20 or so, who will meet every week around the Bible, to deepen their knowledge and love of me. This meeting must be arranged in such a way as to attract the youth – singing, banners, hats, badges, etc. It must be practical and attuned to the youth, but with a bias for the poor and charitable work. They will also work for the improvement of the environment. Their slogan will be “Let us transform the world.”
(2) Prayer – they will pray every day, and on Sundays they will come to church and their catchword will be “Love like Jesus”.
(3) Youth rallies – every year they will attend youth rallies either in their parish, diocese, or even on a national level. As immediate preparation to join the Youth for Jesus, there will be an intense 3 or 4 day period of introduction.”

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

My Thirty-day Retreat – Part 8

Dear Friends,
Here is another part of my thirty-day retreat I had in Jerusalem. This was the most special retreat I ever had. I was so closely united to Jesus every day in the long periods of meditation or contemplation. Here then is three more days.
Father Melvin.

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          9th May 1990 – In the first period of prayer I took the text: Acts 4, 1-31: Peter and John before the Sanhedrin. The two Apostles bore witness to Christ in front of the highest Jewish Tribunal in the land, and they were not afraid. They were bold enough to accuse them of killing Christ by saying: “Jesus Christ, the Nazarene, the one you crucified.” When they were forbidden to teach in the name of Jesus they said, “You must judge whether in God’s eyes, it is right to listen to you and not to God.” They continued “We cannot promise to stop proclaiming what we have seen and heard.” They showed that they were not afraid of suffering, threats, imprisonment or even death. The Church in Zambia has also suffered. Fr. Davoli was hauled before the Ministry of Home Affairs, the police, etc. and accused of fomenting dissent against the Government. We also have the problem of Scientific Socialism. Some priests were called to the Governor’s office. The people are suffering very much because of the economic situation in the country. Yet there is joy because of the celebration of the 100 years of Christianity. The first missionaries arrived in 1891.
In the second period of prayer I took as text Acts 4, 32 – 37. Great joy filled my heart during this meditation. I saw that the Christians of old were united mind and heart, and had everything in common. It is the Holy Spirit who gives the gift of self-control. I beg for the grace from the Lord. Jesus spoke to me for a long time about the problem of money in the new Society. He said, “The text of Acts 4, 32-37 is very important for the new Society. The members will take all the three vows, once they have understood very well their meaning. As for poverty they are to live poor close to the people but the vow is not against having a little pocket money. When they enter as postulants, they should have some money to buy what is needed. It is only after their vows that the society will provide them with the necessary clothes, etc. The money of each one is to be given to the Society, just like the early Christians. All must be of one heart and one mind concerning money if peace is to reign among the members. All members must be treated the same whether they come from Europe, Africa, America or Asia.”
At 8:15 p.m. we all went to Gethsemane for a full hour of silent prayer. We gathered in the Church of all Nations, and I with a few others managed to enter the sanctuary which is built on the very stone on which Jesus sweated blood at His Agony. I spent the full hour kneeling on this very stone. It was an hour of close union with Jesus and He told me that today was the climax of my retreat. Tonight He said, “You are liberated from all the enslavements of your life. You are completely free.” Jesus also explained to me the meaning of the sharing in His Passion for 14 days. He said that it was in order to be totally liberated, totally free. The fear and shyness I felt is completely gone. Tonight Jesus renews the call He has given me. He said, “Melvin, tonight I renew the charge and the gifts I gave you. I renew your appointment as Founder of the Society of the Brothers and Sisters of Jesus, I renew the special union between us, I renew the gift of Healing, the gift of Knowledge from the Father, and all the graces I gave you.” I thanked Him very much for all His gifts and favours.

10th May 1990 – This morning during my prayer Jesus spoke a long time concerning celibacy or virginity. He said, “Great attention is needed concerning this matter of celibacy. As you well know the sexual instinct in man is very strong for obvious reasons and it is normal for men to marry and have children. Yet those I call to follow me in the celibate life; receive from me the gift of self-control in sexual matters. However, all have to be well tested for a long period (two or more years) to find out if they have this mastery of their sexual instinct. If not no compromise is possible. They are to be asked to leave and to establish a family. During their training they will be taught the Christian view of sex (that it is only legitimate in marriage), the wonderful gift it is, and how it operates, and the misuse of this God-given faculty. There are grave sins with regards to its misuse, and there are also ways to avoid them. Precautions have to be laid down for the members to follow as regards the opposite sex, reading material, the viewing of pictures, use of suggestive language, etc. All must be open with their spiritual director with regard to sexual matters. They will have sexual desires, and this is normal, but what is important is how they cope with them. It is important to know how much control they have over them. Manual work and sports are important here, to use up the extra energy.”
During my second meditation I took the text: Acts 5, 1 – 11, the sad story of Ananias and Sapphira. Such a terrible shock this was to the early community of the Church. Jesus commented on this true story by saying, “Don’t be surprised that scandal and public sin will show themselves at times among the members of the Society. Satan will do everything he can to destroy it. So, a Brother might abscond with a girl one day, or you hear that a brother has a child somewhere. One day a brother might arrive at the monastery completely drunk, or another sneaks out during the night to go to the village, or another disappears with the money of the monastery. Think of me when Judas betrayed me–what hurt did I feel. In your case you must do everything to avoid such things to happen, by discerning very well the vocations of the candidates that present themselves. One has to be alert when accepting candidates, and any doubtful cases must be rejected. I will give you the gift of discerning vocations so that you know the ones I call to the Society. The time of postulancy and Novitiate is the time of testing and observing, if indeed those candidates are called and if they have the right disposition to live the call.”
To begin the third meditation I read the passage: Acts 6, 1 – 7: the institution of the diaconate. Seven deacons were chosen for this service. I saw how marvelously, the Holy Spirit works and provides for His Church. In conversation with Jesus He said, “It will be the same with the members of the Society; great holiness will be seen. Candidates will become full of the Holy Spirit and zeal, and they will give themselves completely for the advancement of the Church. You will have to be models of holiness, and be constant in prayer, work, teaching and in loving all the members. I must shine through you all. Put across to them the spirit of the Society, where all the members are equal, and all united together in a strong bond of love, with a strong attachment to me. All this will be in view of bringing all peoples to know and love me. “During the last period of prayer, I simply asked Jesus to show me which way I should go. Tomorrow is the day of election to find out what the Lord wants me to do. I ask that He make His will known to me. So, tonight I prayed that He turn His face to me, His little brother who, in fact, deserves nothing because of His sinfulness. I am unworthy of all the graces given to me by the Lord, yet I throw myself in His arms in all humility, that He may show me just a little the direction I should take in my life. What path does He want me to follow in the future?

11th May 1990 – Today has been very special as there are no formal periods of prayer but instead it is a day of review–a review of the whole retreat up till now to see what Jesus has been telling me, and to come to any decision for the future. Jesus has been instructing me concerning this New Society He wants to start. What I want is what Jesus wants. I am completely in His hands. I offered myself completely to Him to do His will. He has made it known to me that He wants me back in Zambia after a period of rest at home in Canada. I will dialogue with my Superiors and at the end I will accept what they will propose. Jesus tells me that I should be preoccupied with the Society and its foundation.
This afternoon I spent an hour at Gethsemane, especially in the Church of All Nations. I prayed that I may know the will of God for my future work, while at the same time I placed myself in God’s hands to do His will. The garden of Gethsemane was beautiful because at this time all the flowers are in bloom, especially the roses, and there are many of them in all sorts of colours. I sat on a bench near the enclosed garden just admiring the beauty and the old olive trees.